The trouble with Baking
by Ice Maiden Olivier
Summary: It's Lan Fan's birthday, so Ling decides to make a birthday cake... what could possibly go wrong! (one shot for my friend Min, hope you all enjoy)


WN: This is just a one shot I had written for my good friend Min's birthday :) hope you all enjoy!

It was all going swimmingly for Greed. He'd managed to gain a new band of minions; he'd ditched the homunculi and for now; everything was going according to plan. He'd even managed to gain a compliant house guest. Well technically **he** was the house guest, but that was just a minor detail. Their band of outlaws had been hiding out in the Rockbell basement; which proved to be a useful base of operations for them to work out their side of things in the run up to the Promised Day.

Normally, Ling would be poking around his memories; asking questions... or just trying to tell him that becoming emperor would be enough to satisfy his avarice. But today? He remained quiet.. and that worried him.

***Hey kid... you okay in there?* **

_*Sigh* "Yeah... just having a dilemma"_

Greed raised an **eyebrow** at this. Mercifully, they were communicating within their shared body, so the chimeras and also Ed, wouldn't give them "he's a crazy person" look that they're all so good at.

"**Come on kid, it can't be that bad"...**

_"You'll just laugh at me"_

**"No... I'll just nag you until you spit it out!"**

_"Oi.. fine, it's Lan Fan's birthday; and I want to make her a cake... but I don't know how to bake..."_

"**..."**

**"I have to say, I wasn't expecting that"...**

_"I know, I know, it's stupid... to be honest, it was easier in Xing, I was able to do other things for her... "!" get your mind out the gutter Homunculus!" *glares at him* _

**"Easy assumption to make there Princey!" Greed grinned smugly at him. **

_"The point is; it's easier to do something nice for a friend when the fate of the world isn't hanging over your shoulders... and she means a lot to me..." Ling gave a wistful sigh. _

Greed sighed, amused yet despairing of the Prince's kindness, still he wouldn't be Ling if he didn't always want to help and protect his friends.

"**Well I can't believe I am going along with this, but why don't you make the girl a cake? she'd probably appreciate her "Young Lord" for taking the time out of his busy schedule for thinking of her... and besides; she's still in rehab effectively for her automail recovery right?"**

Ling nodded. Whist she had helped them recently; she'd still rushed her recovery and was currently hiding out with old man Fu, who was overseeing her "vacation", basically making sure she didn't try break out of their hiding place in Central. Still last he and Ed had heard she was doing well, soon to be fighting fit again.

Ling brightened.

_"I don't know how to bake... but it can't be that hard... right?" _

**"Well your lucky that one of us actually does..."**

_"The homunculus actually_ **bakes?!"** Ling's face broke out into a wide grin. Someone would be losing his street cred...

"**Yeah yeah, laugh it up Princey... I'll have you know that I did actually bake for my frien... possessions back in the Devil's Nest..." **He huffed haughtily, but tried and failed to hide the feeling of sadness. Ever since his encounter with Bido; he felt nothing but guilt and grief every time he got a fleeting memory. Ling felt the pang of sadness and longing, but for the sake of his Greedy friend, kept silent.

"_Okay... well it's still early, so the others won't be up yet, let's go see what they've got in the kitchen!"_

The unusual pair climbed out the basement, carefully walking as to not wake the chimeras or the sleeping alchemist. They arrived in the kitchen and quickly took stock of the ingredients.

"**Let's see... we have butter... eggs... sugar... milk... flour..." **

"_Greed... how do we actually make this cake?"_

_"_**"Basically, once we turn this thing on"...** He reached for the oven, and carefully turned the dial.

_"Right.. then we get all the ingredients together?"_

**"Yeah... i'm having to do this by memory.. and Martel wasn't exactly the best teacher"**

_"Oh... sorry! I owe you one for this!"_

**"Yeah. yeah, I know you do!" **

The Prince and Homunculus worked in sync for the next half an hour, with Greed explaining what he was doing to an eager Prince. They'd decided to make the vassal a chocolate cake, and were quite pleased with how it was coming along so far. Pretty soon, they'd managed to get to stage of putting their would be creation into the oven. Once they'd done this, Greed gave a groan. Now for the dishes...

"_Now how long do we have to wait?"_

**"This recipe book says half an hour... but I tended to just pull it out whenever really"... **

_"Oh okay... oh dear... wait... Greed.. Greed! you can't leave me to do all the dishes!"_

But it was too late, Greed had slipped to the back of their shared mind, allowing Ling the privilege of doing all the dishes. About forty minutes in...

"_Uh Greed..."_

**"What?!"**

**"Does black smoke mean that it's ready?!" **

**"!" **

**A string of colorful curses filled the air from the frazzled homunculus, as he (with the ultimate shield active) battled to save their creation from the bowel of the oven. Eventually, they managed to get their burnt creation onto a tray, so they could survey the damage. **

**"Okay... it probably is a little well done..." **

**"... will she notice?"**

"BRIIIING!"

**"Oh... I forgot about that..."**

In their haste, they'd forgotten to turn the oven off, which resulted in the Rockbell smoke alarm ringing.

"Ahh! it's gonna burn!"

**"Shut it Ling!"**

"WHAT THE HELL?!"

At the kitchen doorway stood a frazzled looking Edward Elric; his hair standing on end, wearing an expression that could only be described as murderous. The chimeras just stood there, stunned.

The kitchen had been turned into a bomb site; pots and pans were everywhere, ingredients were strewn over the counter, and in the middle of it all? Smoke. And one angry looking Prince/Homunculus holding what seemed to be a baked rock.

"Start from the beginning" Ed ordered. With an accusing glare at their failed creation, Ling recanted the tale to the amused trio.

After they'd finished, Ed started laughing...

_"What's so funny?!" we've killed the baking thing, the cake's burnt and I have nothing to give Lan Fan!"_ Ling howled.

"Look Ling, there's a little something known as "practical alchemy"... that and some teaching from Winry and Izumi!" With a clap of his hands, he got to work, and pretty soon, the cake itself looked like... a cake.

"But... how... did you...!" They both stood there in awe.

"Eh, it was nothing, now you gonna help me clean up or what?"

It took the four of them an hour to restore the kitchen (and oven) to it's former glory. Pleased with their handywork, Ling sent off the flare to summon his loyal vassal and her Grandfather.

"Now... that's really made me hungry, anyone wanna make something else to eat?"

"!" Ed and the chimeras fled the room. If it was one thing the trio had learned from this fateful morning, it was this. Homunculi, Princes and baking should never, ever mix.

~Finish~


End file.
